When I first came home from Iraq, I was mostly bothered by sounds, crowds, spacing out, and some very crappy dreams. The sounds that really bothered me were the sounds coming from the nighttime artillery firing that were happening on post. This was the worst the first two months that I was home but was somewhat alleviated when we bought a house.
The spacing out was not as bad as it has been since I was "floored" by everything, but that is something I will write about later. For the first year or so after I returned, my spacing out happened at arbitrary times and was just that, spacing out. I would find myself just thinking about some event that happened while I was in that hell hole. It wasn't until later that my spacing out involved my not knowing where the hell I was...was I back in Iraq getting shot at or was in Somewhere, USA... with little to know real risk around me?
After being home for about six months, life became very busy for me and I was able to push ALL things (but one) Iraq to the back corner of my mental closet. This busy-ness lasted for about two years with time in Korea, dealing with a dying relative, training, and working at the Pentagon. It wasn't until life slowed down drastically, when I was medically discharged and had a TON of free time on my hands that I was floored by the hell of Iraq, my own guilt, and some seriously irrational fear.
...to be continued
