PE Homework HELL

Email to the Doc after first PE Homework...painful!

From: Me

To: The Doc

Sent: Tuesday, March 22, 2011 10:12:18 PM
Subject: HW H-E double L

Doc,

Tonight was the first night that I was able to do the homework….I am kind of shaky from it which really sucks even if I rate my suds now lower than my peak.

I didn't do it yesterday because when I was taking my dad to lunch…my dumb luck, he mentions some people involved in this crud and he was extolling their virtue!...had me out of shape ALL day. I expect this stuff to be as hard as the CPT stuff, if just different causes, but it was so hard not to flinch at everything I heard myself saying.

I'll see how it goes tomorrow, but I am VERY worried about continuing down this path and remembering too much or just plain cracking. I re-heard what you said about the only benefit gained is if I go through the whole memory…but what if I remember is painful….is there a line? some catch-all? I know you're busy, so no response needed and we can discuss this in session (if it's ok) after you yell at me for being an friggin idiot. My only real point in writing this (and seriously no, the email is really not meant as an annoying payback for last week's session) is that I would like to ask for a little warning before the next session if you plan to push me to go deeper. I really am SCARED Doc, and not just of the sessions…like over my shoulder scared in multiple ways if that makes any dang sense! I do have about 500000 thoughts, questions, fears, ramblings, and epitomes that have been coming to me about ALL of this since last session. I am trying to write them all down when I can, but there is no way we'd get through them. I guess I am rambling here. You still Rock, Doc, even if I do question my sanity in agreeing to go through this.

dw