I think that a lot of work by doctors, therapists, and pharmacists goes into helping veterans with PTSD. These are the people that we with PTSD tend to immediately, and long term, learn to rely upon. I wonder if it's the same for most veterans: you don't want to admit there's a problem, you don't want anyone to know there is something wrong, you just want to be left the fuck alone. Sometimes I would take this too far...just live in my head and almost in a reverent fashion, worship my own guilt and shame and anger. Then I got help. My wife basically said: "you have anger issues...get help or get out!"
So I went to the VA and asked about anger management courses...the asshole doctor sent me to a psychiatrist in teh OIF/OEF clinic who subsequently diagnosed me with PTSD. From there it was some pushing and pulling. I really, I mean REALLY, wanted the help. I knew that if I didn't do it then, I would NEVER do it. The path I took to get where I am now was a basically reluctant path on my part and I think on my my awesome Doc's part. She thought I was an asshole, I didn't think I could trust her, or be completely open with a woman, especially a good looking one. However, I took a chance on her, her skill level, and her concern and I think it was the greatest choice I could have made there.
But that's at the VA, where I don't live or sleep or eat. I go there for appointments only. I don't even like to use the bathrooms there! It took me over a year of PTSD therapy, at least one drunken night of crying like a fucking baby, and a frustrating conversation (or 30) with my wife. However, in the end I made an even greater decision: I decided to let my wife in on a little bit of what's going on in my head, my trauma (Iraq and the OTHER shit!!!), and my pain. My oldest child even knows a little bit...at least enough to keep her from getting hit by reflexes when she would try to suprise me or sneak up on me.
So my wife knows a little bit of different parts of the pain. She is also usually very supportive...unless she's in that short temper mood (which is a WHOLE different topic), and is understanding a lot more than she used to about why I act the way I do in certain situations/activities. Bottom line, I may have the best Doctor and the best group that anyone could EVER hope for, but I DO have the best wife that a guy like me could hope for and I am glad I got over my fear to let her in.
I still haven't shared everything with her...she doesn't even know about this blog, not even that I have it. I still need to let her read my trauma statement...but I need to look to make sure that certain things aren't in there. However, she's the one I lean on the most. I may annoy the Doc and my friends, but at 1 am, when I am freaking out, it's her I am going to talk to first now.
So I recommend to any veteran suffering from PTSD, in order of importance and reliability:
1) Talk with your SPOUSE/GF/BF/Fuck Buddy
2) Do NOT have more than one person in your life from the list above
3) Trust your Doctor(s). If you can't, don't waste time getting a new one...just make sure you have one!!!
4) Trust the process. Even if it sucks or hurts or feels worse than the actual trauma.
5) Remember the work that YOU do, the progress that YOU make!!! Don't discount yourself at ALL!!!
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